All of this excitement about the indictment of Scooter I Louis Libby has left me despairingly looking for a note of humor.
Perhaps there is humor, or at least good news, in the cable news industry. The Industry has every reason to revel in and encourage the blame game. The indictment is great news for advertising prices, Wall Street should be cheered by a huge increase in money coming into the coffers of Time Warner, NBC, and, of course Mr. Murdoch. One wonders what book deals are already in the works for Messers Fitzgerald and Libby? Will Mr. Libby succeed Mr. Liddy in the talk show business? How long till we get to see Tom Hanks overplaying Mr. Bush in a upcoming docudrama, “The Taste of Chocolate, II” If Hanks plays Bush as Gump, who plays Libby? The answer has to be Ollie North! The full metal, medal chested marine who went bravely into the jungles of Nicaragua to defend the virtue of Ronald Reagan. If Ollie is not available, I suggest Tom Cruise.
I do wonder if TW, CNN and Faux are totally uninvolved in making the news today. After all, how long can they sell a blonde girl in Aruba? Do they offer the perps perks if the story can be stretched out? Is Judith Miller the Deep Throat of “The Taste of Chocolate, II?” If GW calls Roger Ayles over at Faux, what advice does Mr. Ayles give and is that advice given in Faux’ interests, or the interests of Mr. Bush? One assumes Mr. Ayles’ would not be motivated #1 by the national interest. Or should we accept Mr. Ayles as the patriot he claims to be? Is what is good for Faux good for the Nation?
Still, there must be something funny in the image of the Greatest Nation being governed by a Gumpish, likeable fool. When Rove and Chaney join Libby in the day time saga of cable news, who will Bush turn too? I have an idea! Maybe the analogy to Forest Gump is unfair. Perhaps we should see George more like Ozzie in Ozzie and Harriet? Can Laura rise to the role? I imagine the President, lying awake in the White House four poster, looking for solutions to his work. Laura may be concerned with the two kids, but George, well George needs to pay attention to nuclear weapons in Korea, ayatollahs in Iran, and that damned virus in the chickens. All this is pretty hard for a boy who really never wanted much more than owning a baseball team. Can Laura rise to the rescue? Does she know whether we should trust President Hu or mistrust President Putin? Just imagine her reassuring George that farmers will love him even if he has to have all the chickens burned.
Laura’s biggest job, however, may be helping Geroge with football, The Football. Since the presidency of Dwight David Eisenhower, American Presidents have been accompanied by a silver briefcase handcuffed to a member of the Secret Service. We have always been assured that the President could make The Decision, if needs be, The system protected us even when Ronald Reagan’s Alzheimer's had progressed too far for the old man to be trusted with the football. The mysterious elders of the party, selected Howard Baker to provide day and night care of the dribbling old man. It is hard to imagine a similar individual appearing for Mr. Gump. The Republican Party is not exactly replete with mentally stable senior officials of the status of Mr. Baker. Can anybody spell Newt Gingrich? Of course there is Daddy Bush. That’s a reassuring thought. Remember those cartoons of the Bush’s as Dr. Evil and mini-me? Or, maybe the time has come for America’s first military coup. If Bush is the Commander in Chief, doesn’t he deserve the full time services ofthat Head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff? Japan tried that, it was called the shogunate. The shoguns did pretty well until WWII.
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