Seattle Jew: The Five Commandments

In the spirit of Tom Jefferson's effort to revise the Bible and in tribute to Darryl's new found affinity for fundamentalism, as SJ I have vetted the Ten Commandments and come up with Five Commanments that are acceptable in American Classrooms. Rejoice!

Original 10:


1. Belief in G-d: This category is derived from the declaration in Ex. 20:2 beginning, "I am the L-rd, your G-d..."

This is awfully complex for this society. It is very clear that this DOES not say anything at all to the goyem (y'all). There is no implication here that anyone except the Jews should follow the LAW. WADR to the Jesus crew, the Torah is revelation ..said to be a direct citation by the Deity and therefore no one can override it.

So in classes across the New Christian US, we COULD have a tablet that said"

"The Jews are supposed to ONLY worship the Deity with no name. Others can do whatever they want." Since this would not be acceptable to the Jews, the first commandment must go.

2. Prohibition of Improper Worship: This category is derived from Ex. 20:3-6, beginning, "You shall not have other gods..." It encompasses within it the prohibition against the worship of other gods as well as the prohibition of improper forms of worship of the one true G-d, such as worshiping G-d through an idol.

With no DOUBT this prohibits the Trinity, icons and statues. MUST GO

3. Prohibition of Oaths: This category is derived from Ex. 20:7, beginning, "You shall not take the name of the L-rd your G-d in vain..." This includes prohibitions against perjury, breaking or delaying the performance of vows or promises, and speaking G-d's name or swearing unnecessarily.

Note the prohibitions of SPEAKING the name of the Deity. Thus, 5th day adventists, those who claim to worship in the name of Jesus, etc are BREAKING the LAW. This discriminates, MUST GO."

BTW, If Yashka had really called on the Diety by his name the punishment of that time was stoning to death for blasphemy! A pile of stones does not make as neat a symbol as a cross!"

4. Observance of Sacred Times: This category is derived from Ex. 20:8-11, beginning, "Remember the Sabbath day..." It encompasses all mitzvot related to Shabbat, holidays, or other sacred time.

Last time I looked there is no mention in the C. Bible of Jesus saying .. lets move shabbat to Sunday! Given the strict codes of his time, with no doubt any record of Yashka bending nails on Saturday would have come down to us!? STORES DO NOT WANT SATURDAY BLUE LAWS, MUST GO

5. Respect for Parents and Teachers: This category is derived from Ex. 20:12, beginning, "Honor your father and mother..."