Gonzales' Documents Forged (SJN Aug 10, 2007)

Gonzales' Documents Forged (SJN Aug 10, 2007)

The Washington Times this morning reported that an investigator for the INS has found the Attorney General Gonzales is in the United States illegally.

While Mr. Gonzales parents are American citizens, it now appears that he was adopted from a destitute Venezuelan woman, Maria Vargez. Unfortunately, the Gonzales family did not have money for a legal adoption so the AG remains legally a Venezuelan citizen. It appears that Mr. Gonzales knew this because the INS reports that he has corresponded with Ms. Vargez and sent her money for many years.

Seantor Patrick Leahy (D. Vermont, ch. Judiciary) has said that this saddens him but he now feels it is important to determine whether Mr. Bush, who once employed the young Alberto as a gardener ever paid social security taxes on those wages.

In the meantime, the Venezuelan government has said it would not accept Mr. Gonzales as acitizen since it regards him now as an enemy combatant. Hugo Chaves, the President of Veenzuela has counseled the US that they might consider putting Mr. Gonzales, who isa catholic, in Guantanmo as an ecnemy combatant. In a surprise move, the White House has agreed.

Press Secretary Snow read the following annuncement, "Mr. and rs. Bush are saddened to learn of the illegal status of their old friend the Attorney General. Mr. Bush reminds us that under the now failed immigration plan, r.Gonzales could seek US citizenship but without such a clear law his old friend is now in an unclear legal status. Aasv a result, we have decided to relocate mr. Gonzales to Guantanao where he will have the status of guest enemy alien as opposed to prisoner enemy alien. Unfortunately this means that the Attorney General will not be available to answer any questions posed by the US Congress or any investigation agency NOT associated with the US military."

The Press Secretary, in answer to a a question, also said that the AG was imemdiately resigning and the President had asked hid brother Jeb to serve as AG. This is allowed because Congress is currently in recess.