Thursday, August 02, 2007

All the news, all the time



New SJ feature.

I am often irritated by the lack of coverage of the news by the US media. Therfore, as a new feature of this blog I am adding a regular section called "Horseshit." HorseShit is a tribute to the HorsesAss blog that has become the center of much that is good in Seattle.

Horseshit policies and why this is a Jewish issue:

HS will relate news that has not been given much attention by the media. To make the news more interesting, however, Horseshit will not be limited by the truth. I will use farce, exaggeration, and satire in the hope of exercising my readers' imaginations. This is an old Jewish tradition. In his preface to the "Guide to the Perplexed"Maimonideds warns that some of what he will say will not be true but that he has done this to challenge tghe reader to look within himself for truth.

Horseshit: All the News that did not fit.

1. Hamas and Fatah leaders admit to being closet lovers. Both are in exile in San Francisco. The Sudi and Iranian governments have approached Israel with a proposal to collaborate in cleansing the Palestinain people of the abomination of homosexuality.

2. Alberto Gonzales has admitted to being an illegal alien. Senate committee has requested documentation of his role in writing the BUsh immigration amnesty proposal.

3. Huge deposits of oil have been discovered at Hunts Point and Medina, wealthy neighborhoods near Seattle. Estimates are that there is enough oil beneath the wealthy neighborhood to fule the world for 1000 years. Neighbors, led by Malinda Gates, have requested assistance from the Sierra Club in making this areq a natural reserve.

4. John Silva announces for Office. The image is of a candidate SJn is supporting for offcie. John is one of my favorite people and he is as qualified ad anyone has ever bgeen to run for office. The office he has anounced for is Congress, a job that requires exactly the sort of intermediary expertise and translational innivationb John showed in his role as founder and CEO of Himsoft, the largest bioweb enterprise in the owrld. More to the poiint, Johjn's phenomenal record as a reservist serving in Iraq and origins as the adoted child of poor gay parents gives him a unique perspective on the issues.
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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Of course, Gonzales is an alien. He's not from THIS planet.

Hell, he's not even from this DIMENSION. But neither is Bush, and nobody calls him illegal.

SO: Is this fair?

If not, which of them is being slighted?

SM Schwartz said...

Someday, somehow, someone will write a book esplainin the latter days of Bush II. It is very difficult to image that this book will be non fiction

Anonymous said...

Maimonides and Reichert on the same page must violate SOME Othodox kosher rule, no?

SM Schwartz said...

Well,

That is the nature of Horseshit in this urban age. Everything the horse eats passes through and only the simplest stuff is ever digested.